No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
