I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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