do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Someone signed my nipple.
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