I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize