I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
