that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
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