You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
