He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
