WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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