took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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