U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
This toilet bowl is my home.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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