You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
