I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
