We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
