jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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