Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
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Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
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I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We are all done wearing pants today
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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