hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
