My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
be right there i have to get my cape
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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