Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
