The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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