I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We had to coat check the pizza.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
