Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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