We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
