ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
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Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
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Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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