Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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