i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize