I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
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