waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Randomize
