And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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