wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Randomize