JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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