i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
