Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
