You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
