She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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