I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
