Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
