two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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