Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
