then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
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The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
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No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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