I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
