I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
