Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
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