so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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