spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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