i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
