Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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