is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
