he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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