This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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