I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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