I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
