im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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