the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize