woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
