From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
