So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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