ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
