She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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