They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
