i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
